Forgetting Ryu
by MiaRain
Summary: Tatsuha has gone most of his life claiming he's in love with Ryuichi. But did he ever truly 'love' Ryu as much as he thought? He decides to put an end to his obsession. He decides to come to terms with his new point of view and try to forget about Ryuichi. But right as this happens, a twisted turn of events occur.
1. Serious Talks

Look! Another fan fiction! I actually plan to finish this one rather fast. I forgot how it was to have fun with fan fiction instead of always writing serious ones. So I hope you all like this! Guys, like seriously. I never realize how dead Gravitation fics were getting. Dx Especially with these two! So Yeah, I hope you all enjoy my lame attempts at writing something with an actual plot for once. xD

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitition. But if I did, I would FINISH WRITING GRAVITATION EX, GRAAAH!

~*Serious Talks*~

"I don't want to be in love." He said as the tick of the clock seemed to engulf his words.

It was true. There was too much pain in being in love with someone who would never love you the same way. No matter how long you watch them, you are never rewarded; especially if that person is oblivious to your feelings. And when that person is finally in your reach, they take your kindness and persuasion the wrong way and think of it as friendship. So before that person finds out and what you have is ruined, it's best to destroy your emotions.

"What would be the cause of you thinking that?"

"Too much pain. Misery follows." He let out a small sigh as his thoughts lingered on what he had just thought.

"So would you rather run away from the conflict?"

"Run away? Why not, it's been hidden for so long. Well, to him."

"Then wouldn't that be your problem? Constantly running instead of facing what you fear head on. The worst he could do is to reject you; then what?"

"Then-" He grew silent all of a sudden, a newfound realization finally coming from the corner of his mind. "Then I would go back... to being one of the thousands of his fans. I'd go back to being his ex-band mates' brother in law. To sum it up, it would be a hell of a lot easy for him to avoid me; to thrust me out of his life as fast as I came into it."

"Are we beginning to incest in this therapist role play or what? Because the last thing you said was a hell of a lot sexual."

"Eiri, I'm being serious!"

"Okay Mister Tatsuha that will be 50,000 yen, cash."

Tatsuha wrinkles his nose and flips off the blonde haired man across from him.

"Since I've complied to you seriously this past hour, I want you to give up the goods." Eiri extended his hand expectantly.

"Alright, alright." Tatsuha said once his brother began to kick the hell out of his shin. You would think being twenty six years old, Eiri would be more mature for his age. He reached behind himself and grabbed the bakery box filled with a dozen small strawberry shortcakes. "Don't let Shuichi find out I'm letting you eat all of these."

"Like I give a fuck about what that brat says." His brother mutters before shoving the creamy little palm sized desert into his mouth.

"You better. Making your pet angry will result to unfavorable actions." He said as he chuckled, knowing full well how his brothers pink haired lover threatened him with no sex and constant annoyance.

Tatsuha looked at the clock on the wall and got up. "Better leave now so I can make it home on time. Father told me to remind you to come home some time, and to mention not to bring that 'disgraceful chimp' with you."

"Mm." His brother said, onto his fourth dessert as Tatsuha made his way down the hall. Way to savor it.

As he slipped his shoes on, he checked his phone. Zero messages. He felt a slight pang inside of his chest for no reason. Why, was he lonely? Ha! He could text anyone of the whores in his phone and receive a reply back asking to go out somewhere.

But it wasn't like he wanted a whore, or anyone, to text him. There was only one person he wanted to hear from, and it was the man he had strong unrequited love for.

Tatsuha had given Ryuichi Sakuma his number, and had been promised to meet up sometime soon, but opportunities were not as good as that. Ryu was currently in Tokyo. His acting career had receded a bit, and he was doing more modeling for various magazines and clothing lines here before he went back to America. Tatsuha's favorite was the men's type of lingerie, without it actually being lingerie. God, it almost made him hot to the point of wanting to touch himself in public. The man was just too sexy for his own good. And the vulnerable faces he made in his poses were enough material to set Tatsuha off the first time he had looked through the photos in the confines of his room.

Though time and time again, he convinced himself he was better than the men who wacked off to pictures of their favorite anime characters in hentai pictures, as Eiri had said earlier on in their therapy session. He couldn't help but feel like a pervert as the wave of the sexual act he had done washed over and he was just left to think about how disgusted Ryu would be if he ever found out.

In that case, Ryu wouldn't find out, because he never had the time to fucking leave a simple text.

His anger was getting the best of him as he made his way to the underground parking. He wondered why his brother still chose to live in a condo. With Shuichi no doubt being with him for as long as forever will go, it would be better if they got a house together. He snickered to himself as he thought it would strengthen their bond. Now he was the one sounding like a shrink.

Reaching the underground parking space, Tatsuha felt revolted seeing his motorcycle next to the thing that was Shuichi's car. The car was a 'buggy'. He was sure Yuki was sick of seeing it as well, next to his sly Mercedes. The big red hunk of metal was literally only for show. He had guessed Shuichi wanted it just because he could afford it and bought it from America without Yuki's permission. Funny how he worded that, but Shuichi was on a tight leash. Shuichi just didn't realize that he was the one who had most control over Yuki instead of the other way around.

Tatsuha slide the cool helmet over his head. He liked the coolness, yet dreaded when the muggy air outside would get to him. He fished the keys from his pocket and right when he put the key into the ignition, Sleepless Beauty began to play from him phone. Cursing, he slid the helmet back off and fished for his phone in his hoodie's pocket.

"Hello?" He answered, not having bothered looking at the caller ID.

"Hey brat, back from Eiri's yet?" Just his luck, it was his elder sister.

"I'm on my way, bye."

Just as he was about to end the call, his sister yelled for him to wait.

"Shesh, I haven't heard from you in a while and you want to automatically hang up on me?"

"What is it?" Tatsuha tried to hide the annoyance from his voice. The last thing he needed was for Mika to nag at him while he was recovering from his deep thoughts.

"I just wanted to say that father told me about how good a son you're being as of late so I thought I should reward you. I mean, it was most likely convenient since it was mutual, but I had to call father and make sure you weren't being an idiot-,"

Tatsuha mentally sighed, looking up at the ceiling and focusing on the buzz of the underground garage lights as his sister continued to blab as she did at times.

"-plus, you did pass high school and I haven't given you a graduation gift and so I thought this would be a good opportunity for you to finally hang out with Ryuichi. Not to mention he has surprisingly called Tohma a few times to get your contact information again-,"

"Yeah, I haven't hung out with him since the last concert when-," Tatsuha stopped in the middle of his sentence, his heart jumping at what he had thought he heard.

"Wait, wait, rewind please. What did you just say?"

"As a reward for passing high school, Ryuichi will be staying at the temple while he's in the area so you two can spend time together."

~*End*~

We'll see how this turns out. Sorry the ending happened too abruptly. I was listening to Good Charlotte when I wrote down Tatsuha's first line. Since I can really relate to how Tatsuha feels with loving someone he thinks is beyond his reach, I think this will be a good story. Hopefully others can too as they read this fan fiction. :)


	2. The End Is A New Beginning

Well! I really plan on getting this whole story done before I post chapters. But I like to keep my fan fictions in my documents locked away because I'm always going back and changing something. Why am I never satisfied!? Dx

Warning: Minor misspellings and grammar, a lot of cursing, and masturbation. ouo

Disclaimer: I do not own this wonder manga/anime known as Gravitation. If I did, I would FINISH GRAVITATION EX, GRAAAAAH!

~*The End Is A New Beginning*~

The world was ending. Right when he had decided to start anew and try to give a go at life, everything seemed to begin going his way. No, wrong, it wasn't his way anymore. The whole point of starting anew meant he wouldn't stay as he had been before the therapist lessons with Eiri. He told himself he wouldn't follow that way anymore. And as much as it pained him to think, he knew that he had to give up Ryu.

The phone call with Mika hung on his mind like the plague. Towards the end of their conversation, Tatsuha had tried to remind Mika of his old ways so that she would have doubts of his credibility, yet she wouldn't take the hint.

She had laughed on the phone, saying, "Tatsuha it's as if you don't want Ryuichi to hang out with you. I know how you've been and I trust you more than ever."

That was exactly it. Before he could answer her back, he heard crying from his nephew over the phone and with a quick apology and a goodbye, they hung up and that was that.

Tatsuha tried to reflect on his sessions with Yuki. Particularly the question on why he was so in love with Ryuichi to begin with. He's an old man trying to act young, according to Yuki. But that wasn't even close to what Tatsuha thought of his idol. Ryuichi was like a beautiful God. The man looked young for his age. He hadn't even seemed to age from the first time Tatsuha had ever seen Ryuichi. Not to mention Ryuichi seemed to grow sexier as the years passed and the pictures of Ryuichi became him with lesser and lesser clothes. He had a flat stomach with the hint of a four pack; toned, but not overly done. His nipples stayed a light, delicious color. And the crease of his hips remained that of a teenager, so sexy and young and deeply indented. His ass stayed nice and round, but not overly so. He had always wondered if Ryu did squats to get his ass so perfect. And the way he moaned out some of his lyrics was just so-

The loud creaking that his bed made when he bumped his head board into the wall stopped him from his thoughts. He caught his hand in an act that he did so much it was natural for him when he thought of Ryuichi in the confines of his room.

"Fuck…" Tatsuha muttered, knowing that he was doing something he told himself he wouldn't do anymore. His hand continued its motion, moving up and down slowly this time. He looked down at his member and began to fantasize it was a certain someone else's hand. Even though he had matured way more than his past self, he still caught himself doing things that would never get old.

His mind automatically went into lusty world and before he knew it, he was coming at the part where Ryuichi screamed his name and described how good Tatsuha's cock felt in him. His eyes stayed closed for a while longer, letting his body feel pleasure without the stress of trying to change.

Tatsuha got up to go wash his hands. In actuality, he wasn't like those obvious manga characters who kept tissues by his bed. He preferred to properly wash his hands of his dirty deeds, as if to wash away the thoughts as well. Not that he cared; he was a healthy eighteen year old guy. Pure thoughts weren't the only thing running through people's minds at this age.

As he got up and washed his hands in the bathroom down the hall, he chewed his lip. Tatsuha was actually a bit surprised at how calm he was acting. Of course, he was more of the type to not think and then panic when he was faced with his problem. But he couldn't do that. He refused to allow himself to convert back into an idiot. Now that he was older, he had come to realize exactly how idiotic he had been and all the stupid choices he could have avoided. True, he wasn't that much older and he still made choices that would make his ancestors turn in their graves, but he was changing. Much like he needed to change completely before Ryuichi came.

Tatsuha absently walked around, sliding the old Japanese styled door and stepping outside. He settled for simply sitting on the porch, taking out his cigarettes pack. He lit his cancer stick, sliding both lighter and pack back into his pocket after doing so. He tried to smoke less, but smoking helped him clear his head.

It might be easy to pretend to be normal around Ryuichi. But his feelings would probably get in the way. As long as he reminded himself it wasn't actual love, he wouldn't have a problem. His heart screamed love while his brain told him it wasn't. Tatsuha thought over every time he and Yuki went through their therapy sessions, seeing as to how he couldn't just go to a shrink and say, "Hey! I have this sick, sexual obsession with a famous star who happens to be my brother in laws ex band mate, Ryuichi Sakuma. Did I mention I'm Eiri Yuki's brother?" Reporters would be all over that like flies to a pile of shit. So it resulted in him bribing Yuki with short cakes every week for an hour of therapy. That was the longest his brother could wait before the taunting sweets made him act like a four year old until he got his sweet cakes. Plus, it was two hours after Shuichi left for work in the morning. So even if Shuichi left work early, he wouldn't catch his and Yuki's weird exchange. Not to mention it gave Yuki time to enjoy his sweets, and then hide the evidence.

Every logical thought proved to him that he was infatuated with the star, but not in love. Ryuichi proved to be more of a role model- puberty fantasy- than someone Tatsuha felt strong feelings of love for. Or was it?

Tatsuha threw his cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it, thoughts giving him a migraine. He wouldn't think more of it. Plus Ryuichi wouldn't be coming so soon. Well, in between three days to a week. That was plenty of time to sort out his emotions, right?

~*End*~

Sorry this one didn't have much action and was short, but I promise more is to come soon~ :)

So far the writer's block has been kind to me and I am able to finish this chapter (two of the future ones are done, I just didn't know how to do this one or the next one. xD ). I hope you continue to read! And please be kind with critique. I take all comments to heart.


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